Panicfeva234's Journals

Y'all!!!!!

Okay the best DAMN thing has happened to me

I met nicole!

1)she is amazing!

2)she make me smile every day!

3)i love her to bits!

4)her smile makes tears roll down my face!

5)though she is FAR away i still feel her near me

6)she has my heart and love

7)i cant stop thinking about her amazingness

8)i love her to much!

9)she is to good for words

10)she is better than you!

Nicole since i met you i cant stop thinking of you i think of you during school and when ever i can!

Chu is just so fucking amazing i want to hold you in my arms and hug you and kiss you!

I luff you baby! never forget those 4 words!

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

luff paige!!!

Ughh!

Im fed up!

Yes i am im SICK of chain mail! people calling me fake IM NOT!

I have had so much shit go on and people being assholes to me can F**K right off!

Okay i have been wanting to die for so long i feel like im losing every one around me i have held to many things in and it f**ks up my life! Probly most people hate me because im an annoying little f**kwit who cant get a life well i have one but its CRAP! to me and i just cant handle nothing nomore!

Im sorry to every one for f**king there lifes up i really am im not going to leave but dont talk to me because you have pitty for me i dont want you to talk to me because you feel like you have to care hate me for all i care.

Jordan im sorry i havent been a great friend i f**k every thing up and im worthless i want you to be happy live life not worrying bout me or anyone else just you and your future because you are a happy awsome guy!

Rach your awsome and i dont want you to bother about me becasue you are to awsome to ruin your life over me i want and need you to be HAPPY! and funny and great like you always have been!

Tatiana sis you amaze me with everything you do you have so much Things to live up to and dont kill your self over chain mail i want you here! i need you to be awsome and wicked and funny and alround AMAZING!

Alex i know i havent really known you that long but i love talking you,reading and commenting your journals and pics you are awsome and i want you to be the best guy in the world like you always have been!

Martin we havent known each other long but i swore there was a conection therei swear you have been the best guy ever to me! i love having you as a friend and yeah your are just to great for words! i dont know what to say about you! your to amazingly fantasic!

Cris i have never met anyone like you,you have been the best you always made me smile! and i never want to lose contact you have the best songs and poems ever!

Dean i know you won't be able to read this but i need you to know i will always luff you like my brother i know that we were pretty close and i know you had some of the best poems and songs in the world! you had been the best thing to happen to me in years hearing about your passing killed me a little bit more inside knowing i lost a best friend and finding out late! i didnt say good bye to you only that one day i said good night not good bye im sorry i was never really there for you if i could turn back time i would be on and i would say good bye and tel you.you are AMAZING in every way!

R.I.P dean neal!

For any one io have missed im sorry i have had sooo much on my mind i just needed to scream and say sorry to everyone im close to for f**king up there lives i really am!

Sorry good bye

Bullet for my valentine

Hands Of Blood
by
Bullet For My Valentine

OWWWWWW!

There goes my Valentine again
Soaked in Red for what she said
And Now shes gone!

Oh my god have i done it again,
there's a pulse and its deafening
I cant help what i hear in my head,
Its the switch that i flip they said,
Hand of Blood!
I dont wana feel like my heart is breaking,
Hand OF Blood!
I dont wana see that life is burning

I saw you look away,
is what you've seen to much to take or are you blind and seeing nothing.
(I saw you run)I saw you run away,
Is what ive done to much to take or are you scared of being nothing.

Theres a stain on my hand, and its red
Oh my god, am i losing it?
I cant help what I've done or I've said
It's the button i push
Hand of Blood!
i dont wana feel like my heart is breaking,
Hand OF Blood!
I dont wana see that my life is burning.

I saw you look away,
Is what youve seen to much to take or are you blind and seeing nothing.
(I saw you run away) I saw you run away,
Is what ive done to much to take or are you scared of being nothing

(solo)

NOOOOOO!

ORRR!!!

I saw you look away,
is what youve seen to much to take or are you blind and seeing nothing
(I saw you run away)I saw you run away,
Is what ive done to much to take or are you scared of being nothing

Great fucking band!

James morrison song (yes ilisten to james morrison so what!) lol

The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore SONG LYRICS
by
James Morrison

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching us fall apart

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Coz I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why
No I don't know why

Why I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

Yup yup love dis 2

Escape the fate lyrics

Good Enough for Truth or Cliche
by
Escape the Fate

Hurtful words
From my enemies of the last five years
What's it like to die alone?
How does it feel when your tears freeze
When you cry
The blood in your veins is twenty below
Sitting in this room playing Russian Roulette
Finger on the trigger to my dear, Juliet
Out from the window see your backdrop silhouette
There's blood on my hands and it's something I cannot forget
So for now
Take this down a notch
Crash my car through your window
Make sure you're still alive
Just in time to kill you
I can't take this anymore.
I cannot feel what you've done to me

I love this song!!!!

The Battle i fight everyday

Am I the only one who can hear,
The voices that cause my fear.

[You don't need them]
Yes, I do.
[I'm the one you need]
I need them too.

I can't give up my friends.
[Yes, you can I'll help]
They will always love me.
[Deceiving emotions you've felt]

[They're only lying to you]
No they're not!
[They want you to fail]
They're the only ones I've got.

I never want to let them go.
[You have to do as you are told]
No, I'll never listen to you!
[I'm going to have to make you]

[I'll make you're life a living hell]
I don't care; they're worth it.
[I will put bad images in your head]
You'll never make me want to quit.

Everyday I fight the voices,
I try to make them stop,
Everyday their words haunt me,
Talking to me nonstop.

-I really don't like this one, I think I could have done a lot better, but I decided to post it anyway.

Some peoples that are special in my life!!!!!!!

Okay well i have so many peoples that are special and im going to do a few of them for now! and Four of them was the most nicest guys i have met!

Okay well where do i start???

Cris! He is my best friend nd i never want to lose contact!

Okay umm now Dean!

This guy had to be one of my best friends on here and as most of us should probly know he past away on the 18th of december he was one hell of a guy and we all miss him and his happieness i know i miss him alot you were one hell of a guy dean! Rock on!

R.I.P Dean brendon Neal!

Um now Tatiana!

My sister! she is awsome i dont have a pic of her but i want her to know that she is awsome and i luff her so much! she dont know how much she means to me she is hella awsome!Tatiana you rule always wanna talk to you! ^_^ and i never want to lose contact!

Okay now Rachel!

I really hope i spelt your name right!Your my other sister you stoped me killing myself thank you my dear! your awsome you know how to save a life! your an awsome girl sorry everyone i dont have a pic of her DAMN! but i know she is fucking awsome lol!

Okay now Jordan!

Yes i am adding jordan because he is awsome and one hell of a great friend And he is there for me when i need him the most! jordan thank you im so glad i have you as a friend your like one of my best best friends! lol Your awsome! and i luff ya for it!

Your so awsome Buddie!!!!!!!!

Okay only a few more peoples promise!

Jayden!okay i dont really no you that well but still ilove talkign to you and making you happy! i dont like seeing you sad! or hearing you cry!Your to amazing to cry your a happy person!and i will always be here to help you through anything if you wanna let out anger go for it i dont mind! or if you just want someone to talk to and make you smile or something im always here promise!

Drake we dont talk as much as we used to like the first convo we ever had you fell off your chair a few times lol i miss talking to you your an awsome person and you look Great! lol and well i dont want to lose you as a friend! please talk to me when you want to im always gunna be here for you!

Martin!Yes i can never for get you! your fantastic your great your friendly! and i luff ya for it!!!!!!!!!! i never want you to change i miss talking to you! and having a good laugh with you =D your a great great great friend =D luff ya!

Your awsome m'dear!

Well these are some of the peoples that make my life better!

I will do another one soon!

????????

Okay lets get things straight!

1)im not a fake!

2) fuck around with me i will kill myself or you!

3)Call me a skank,bitch,hoe,playa,slut,emo fag,Any thing along those lines i will kick or ass so hard

4)send me chain mail i will block you! not shitting im not afraid anymore

5)mess around with anyone i love or care bout i'd watch your back

6)I may not look big but beware im Te Awamutu's Champion kick boxer!

7)Fuck off if you aint got nothing nice to say

8)mess around with my sisters watch out of i will break your nose!

9) Im always here to help even if you wanna let out anger just do it!

10)If you want help come ask for it dont be afraid

11)If you are depresse i will try hard to make you happy!

12)Im paige not Bitch,hoe,fucker,player,skank,emo fag anything like that!

Okay im not going to kill myself but i will do any of this when ever i can or if you fuck around with me or my friends!

Thanks from paige!

Read!

Fucksakes!

People i am really depressed!im trying to help people and also trying to get my self all good im sick of getting shit from people! im not the greatest person i just dont like seeing my friends sad i like them happy! and getting called a bitch skank and what ever dont help so i'd be carefull in what you say to me okay or i will kill my self okay im not shitting anyone im not trying to fit in im fucking serious im in love and i dont know if he loves me and AHHHHHHH

But if i do end up killing myself i want to say sorry and thanks to these peoples!

Xosonnyxo:Your an amazing sister and i love you for that and being a great friend to me!

Jaredsgirl:Your one of me best friends and im never ever going to for get that! i dont know what will happen if i lose you!

Miseryeternal69:Hunny i dont know if you love me but if i do kill myself its because i love you and i want you to be happy and not have people fight over you im not breaking up with you but im just saying if i do i love you okay!

Xxsweetxrevengexx:Your amazing and im glad i met you jordan you rock okay and your awsome and i luff ya like a brother!

Xxjaydenxx:Your amazing and im really sorry i havent been able to help you! please dont do anything stupid! your like my brother and i dont want you to do anything oyur to amazing and to many people love you like drake!

Analisse321:Girly you rule and im sorry i have fucked up your life i didnt mean to i luff you like my sister k your rule and if i die tell every one im sorry!

Petewentzluv1:Sis your awsome and amazing!and i will never forget the things we talk bout!

Fluffen:You have been there for me when ever i was down and your so amazing and cute! and i want you to know i will never for get you! no matter what!

XxemosRulexx:I hope i spelt your user name right anyways Tyler your awsome and i love and miss talking to you!!!! Please always be happy and horny i love you like my brother and i will never ever ever forget you!

Okay peoples i dont know what will happen okay i will give trey(my brother) my password and yeah im sorry but it feels like nobody Cares!!!!

well bye for now i will come on if things get better!

Xox Paige Xox

My life,love and friends

Okay im so bored so yeah bare with me!

My life is fulled with:friends fun love hope joy depression darkness death suicidal feelings

My love is: Chris he is the sweetest guy ever!

My friends are:Chris,Jordan,James,James,Noel,Tatiana,Jess,Bexxy,Tyler,Jayden,Drake,Caroll,Rachell,Skye,kate

Any one i have missed im really sorry i havent got much time